two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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