i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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