you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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