She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize