Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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