Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
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