i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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