I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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