Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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