shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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