I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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