I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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