why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize