True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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