He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
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My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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