Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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