I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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