It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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