oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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