He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize