you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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