Me. At least after what I've been through.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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