i would punch a child for taco bell
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He passed out mid-signature
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
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My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I want a musical about memes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize