remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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