Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
barbara walters just said penis...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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