return my video game
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize