i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
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I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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