the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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