# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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