Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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