i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize