I accidentally had phone sex last night
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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