I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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