sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
now i know why i became what i already was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize