2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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