JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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