My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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