You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize