He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize