just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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