it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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