Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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