How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize