Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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