I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize