I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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