You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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