How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize