you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize