So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
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i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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